I'm gullible and naive but I wasn't born yesterday. But if you tell me I was, I'll believe you.

At birth, my parents were just grateful I had all of my fingers and toes. As time went on, they began to expect more from me.

We sprang forward an hour last night and we'll fall back an hour in November. Sorry, H.G. Wells, but time travel is not that exciting.

I have recorded every episode of the show "Hoarders" on my Beta Max. I can't wait to excavate them some day.

Daylight savings...most of us will lose an hour this weekend. As usual, Charlie Sheen will lose 22 hours.

Wife and I playing poker with friends tonight. Expect a financial windfall that justifies our not saving for retirement.

Indiana becomes "Right to Not Save State." Now, no one can be forced to join a credit union.