Indiana becomes "Right to Not Save State." Now, no one can be forced to join a credit union.

CBS renewed "How I Met your Mother." Martin Sheen is considering a similar show about Charlie called, "Why did I Meet Your Mother?"

Time to dip into the strategic reserves--the can of lawnmower gas stored in my shed.

I don't know the pros and cons of medical marijuana. I just want a couple of joints that don't ache when it rains.

Karate and Coke and Judo and orange juice are two of my favorite mixed martial arts.

"All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players." So that's not a stalker following you. It's your understudy.

I have jokes older than Justin Bieber. To prove it, I used that same line 18 years ago but with a Macauley Culkin reference.