Gas is $9.67 a gallon in Britain this week. Our forefathers saw that coming. Good call on quitting the empire.

I'm going to become an Elevatorist. That's a person who exerts influence on politicians before they get to the lobby.

I can't decide if I am lazy or disorganized. Well, I could decide, but deciding takes way too much energy.

"It's the weekend. Time to party like a former sitcom star."...Charlie Sheen

Gaddafi is reportedly offering protestors concessions. Uh, I think it's a little late for popcorn, and Mr. Pibb, Mo.

UPI reports-"The U.S. Marine Corps will shrink about 13 percent." Thus the new slogan, "We're still looking for a few petite men."

Quackery? That would be when your doctor recommends an appendix transplant.

Smart legislators flee to warm states.